Ravi Speaks:
ARTICLE WRITTEN ON 09.12.2021.
UPDATED ON 22.06.2022
Have I Developed Anger?
For the past quite some months in my post-retired life, I have realised that I have developed a short-tempered nature which, of course, reflects the ‘ANGER’ as the essential constituent. Being short-tempered, of course, has been an essential ingredient in my personality right for many years as I have been observing within me but getting angry for a trifle thing while being in the market or travelling or even in the busy areas like the Mall etc. seem to have ingrained deep into my behavioural expressions recently.
Recently I was in the ‘Reliance Mall’ with my wife here in Gurugram and because of the festival season, there was a very heavy rush. After doing our purchases, I selected a lane where the number of people ahead of me was the least and I could get an earlier chance for the payments to be made. Suddenly, a gentleman with some items in his hand surpassed all of us in the queue and told the cashier to clear his bill first. People in the queue objected to this act and told him to come in the queue. He did not agree and even the cashier also obliged him. I realised that all people in the queue were getting befooled by him with such an act and I lost my cool and shouted at him to come in the line. Still, that man cleared his bills and went off showing to all of us in the queue his triumphant stance as if we in the queue were all fools. I shouted even at the cashier and asked him why he did the wrong thing to entertain him out of the turn. The cashier did not get bothered at all with all our shouting and continued his usual work. I became furious and started speaking out loudly against the cashier. After some time I realised it was just an exercise in futility to raise such issues in a highly crowded place and especially in the condition where the officials were helping the people to carry out such wrong acts. This was a small trigger to one’s anger-content within.
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Uncontrolled anger can be problematic for your relationships and your health. |
Many things can trigger anger, including stress, family problems, and financial issues. For some people, anger is caused by an underlying disorder, such as alcoholism or depression. Anger itself isn’t considered a disorder, but anger is a known symptom of several mental health conditions.
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| Anger Management. |
I should adopt many anger management methods: –
I realised I should follow the set rules in such a condition that I could lose my temper any time since anger seems to have embedded deep into me of late. I should try to control myself and try to recognize what makes me angry. I should realise how to deal with triggers without becoming aggressive. I should immediately realise when my thoughts were to become irrational looking to that triggering situation. I must also teach myself and exercise how to get relaxed in such volatile situations and try to have an ever-cool temperament when I started feeling angry in the future. This sort of exercise, if I do, I would think as if I have learnt myself the effective problem-solving techniques to handle anger.
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One of the main reasons for my being in such a sudden angry mood perhaps is my being a free man with no specific engagement or work after getting retired. I have developed certain habits now that I feel are the result of my having no special assignment for myself. Trying to talk to some of my selective friends on the phone well across the entire country, or sometimes across the country as well. This may be one habit developed to use the free time. Doing certain works in my household where I could have attended them later as well.
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| Expression of Anger Burst. |
Three types of anger help shape how we react to a situation that makes us angry. These are Passive Aggression, Open Aggression, and Assertive Anger. If I am angry, the best approach is Assertive Anger and I feel that is exactly what I naturally pose to assertive, even in my expression of anger.
Incidentally, I don’t want to go into details as one can write volumes on anger creation and anger management-but one thing as a lesson especially for my friends who are sailing in the same boat of post retired life-and that is just as we do morning aerobics or even a morning walk we must also try to do simultaneously certain self-correcting exercises-which may or may not be an extensive calorie-burning exercises-for example we must think properly before passing on any suggestion-.which might cause an unpleasant taste amongst the people and act as an anger trigger.
We must express our anger only when we feel we can tackle that well and are in a calm temperament. Aerobics may be lighter ones which would also ease off our stress and strain on our inner selves. Whenever any such provocative situation arises where we might lose our calm and get angry-we must try to put a sensible thought about what could be the causative factor responsible for such a situation. We talk that time thoughtfully with a measured filter. We must always try to attain a witty and humourous self so that such situations are wiped off with a release of tension and happiness.
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| CONTROL OF ANGER WELL WITHIN OURSELVES. |
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Finally, I also have what they call Healthy anger. Healthy anger is expressed with little or no vindictiveness. It is not about being vengeful, having power, or hurting another (verbally or physically). Perhaps the clearest indicator that your anger is healthy is if it leaves you feeling OK about yourself and the other person once expressed.
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